boys there; how many?!

If you don't know the reference of the title of this entry, it's a wonderful song by M.I.A. that completely fits my life right now.

This past week, Ali and I went a littttttle bit crazy. I don't know if it's because we're getting antsy about the end of the semester, or if it's because of the recent developments in her life, but we had the college life that a lotta girls lead in their freshman year. We went out Wednesday. We went out on Thursday. We went out on Friday. We went out on Saturday. WHAT THE FUCK?!? We're out of our minds!

Wednesday was interesting. We went to Ryan's very spur of the moment to meet up with Tommy and Joe, and Joe was acting very strange; blatantly talking about other girls in front of me, being physical with everyone but me .. it was just weird. Thursday, Ali and I decided we were gonna go out dancing! Mmmm, not so much. We ended up at Around the Clock, and somehow ended up at Ryan's AGAIN. Once again, Joe was being shady, but there was some blatant rudeness involved this time. That pissed me off. A lot.

Friday I was supposed to bartend, but due to Don being completely fucked up 24/7, he screwed up the schedule and it didn't end up happening. I went there and met up with some people anyway, and then Matt, Sean and our friend Drew from home showed up. Drew and I were hanging out and talking for awhile (apparently he was macking on me-- I missed that one!) when Charlie walked in. REALLY AWKWARD. We talked a little bit, and after that I was definitely ready to go. So about 6 of us ran in the pouring rain back to MT to grab jackets, umbrellas, etc. and then headed over to Biddies, which was a first for me! It's alright, nothing too special. But it's enormous and they have good music, so I can see why people are into it. Once again, saw Joe. This time his attitude had completely changed, and I was eventually informed of what's really going on. Apparently he likes me, and really respects me as a person, but doesn't want any type of relationship because he's so fucked up (which is true) and he know he'll hurt me. I respect him saying that, but it's still a weird situation. I don't know if I really really like him anyway, but he definitely alters my mood so I think that says something. We ended up all having a really fun night, although Joe and I haven't really discussed anything, but I think we both know what's going on.

Saturday night I was supposed to sleep. I was going to sleep. I was SO EXCITED to sleep. And then, as I'm leaving Astor Place, I get a call from a 631 number that happened to be Kenny; for those of you who don't know, he's my Yale hockey playing ex-boyfriend from back home. He decided that he was going to tell me he was in the city at 12:45 AM on Saturday night, and that he was on 96th and 3rd. FAR. REALLY FAR. But I knew I had to see him, cuz I hadn't seen him since my graduation party. SO I dragged 5 other girls with me and we headed all the way uptown to meet up with him and his 7 hockey-playing friends.

It kinda turned into a bust. It was nice to see him, but he was trashed, I was exhausted, and he obviously wanted to hook up which I honestly am just not into anymore. I'm past it-- way past it. 2 of the girls ended up staying up there for awhile, but I headed back pretty early with the rest of them.

And that was my weekend. INTERESTING. Definitely the word of the week. I wasn't expecting to see Charlie, Joe, Kenny or Drew. And yet they surrounded my weekend. And then there's one more who I haven't seen, but who is probably the only one that actually matters, and that's Mike. I met Mike last weekend at Pace Preview. Lmao. I know. Don't judge. We hit it off and he ended up finding me on Facebook and we've been talking non-stop since. For whatever reason, we connect really well, and I think I just need someone right now who doesn't know my life to talk to with no prior thoughts or judgments. He might be coming to the city next weekend, and I'm looking forward to that. But not getting excited about anything. No expectations. Just living.

It's nice to be distracted. I've definitely had that this weekend. Maybe a couple too many distractions, but oh well.

Oh, and I talked to my dad about this summer and he's completely cool about it, which is a complete WEIGHT lifted from my chest. I get so scared to talk to him. I really need to get past that.

I'm done with this semester. Have I mentioned that? I don't care about classes, I don't have to work in my classes, nothing exciting is happening in my classes. Why would I care? EXACTLY.

Kate Nash is a goddess. She's brilliant. Go listen to her. And go to Pandora.com, because it's changed my life. That's all. Gosh this was long. But needed.

"Cuz it's your life and no one elses sweetheart. Don't let someone put you in a box."
♥